Merry Christmas

And all the babies in all the world were on the tree, dangling, swaying in the fruitful breeze. Their mummies were not pleased with the turn of events, and noted this on a small piece of corrugated iron. The next-door neighbours were told not to use complicated words such as antidisestablishmentarianism or multiplex cinemas, not that the local porridge oat manufacturer had anything to say on the matter.

In the end they decided that the best course of action would be to stop playing golf altogether and put all their efforts into the banana trade. This said, they were not completely in agreement as to the whereabouts of the spoon. What the cat wrangler thought of this, we shall never know. His body was discovered the following Tuesday in a pint of Budweiser.

To spam? or not to spam?

There's nothing like getting a spam e-mail to increase penis size followed by an intellectual short story.

'An Ode To Penis Size Spam'
From Paulius Kunkle to Jehiel Stansfield (definately not my name)

And the Angelus rings for eternity in my ears. It is you, then. I told you that, so get on with it. The list we were given last week included a slender middle-aged American with a limp, possibly accompanied by a doctor. Is this correct? Correct! And? They have passed through. I used the title Doctor with the cripples companion and he responded to it. Where have they gone? Its vital that I know! It was not disclosed, but I will soon learn enough for you to find out, old man. The porter who took their luggage to the south platform will get the description and the license of the car that meets them. In the name of God, call me back with the information!

Ode to Paul

I would like to welcome Paul
even though he is quite small.

Pantaloon

I was concerned for my life, like my eyes.
They gently burn side-ways pins and destroy the exterior like an old farmer without his robbery tools.
Pine wood is like gold, but without the ham.
The drilling of the can which watered considerably on the floor inundated the area and I suffered from the substantial inundation.
So we applaud thee, and thus welcome Paul to the table with his rubble, books, fruit and un-tamed logic.
What would help sprout an almost extinct species of plant in a controlled environment?
The answer is in Latin.

A playe in 1 acte withe one scene

dramati personae: Womane, Manneth

Act 1, scene 1 - The castle gate

Thunder and lightning. Enter two persons

Womane: Verily! It is not without thirst that I smother thy lounge fish.
Manneth: Dost thou rent thy picket? Even as thy whirléd throng doth flutter?
Womane: Fye, Fye! Whence the livid rung doth run thither.
Manneth: Thence the rugged thore in rigid fog doth gibble.

Exeunt Manneth

Gardening tips

Gosh! What a weird snake...I wonder how they got the tail to curl like that.

Ribbit Rabbit

Special Fwiend

Hay,

I was browsing fotos and found ur pic and wus like wooooow Mr. Man now
then I read but it took me time because I am retired like an old farm but it still rode sentence from slow,
I must ask of a question for you tho? can or (maybe) play the trinagle? its in orc with all the body hairs sounding great especially if they are all graduated,
Wobert Puldecroft is calling me so I must go now byeeeeeee

Goff Tiddums,

Pachabel Jeff or Son,

Piss. Do you hav Messing Hen or Yodelhoo??/. we can chat on tits

Double Piss. My monitor said things like a troggle diet can on tanks

Triple Piss. I like it hear but sum ppl thing k that my angled dish is bad



Pie chart was directly inspired from Mary's accidentally deleted blog :)

For my sins

Oh, how I love reversable stew,
Stewed, chewed, food.
Interesting patterns,
Disintegrated flattens.

Sieze the ladder clock.
Knock, rock, chock-a-block.
Emplore their refrains
particularly brains.

Return the curdled fish.
Dish, wish, saddled pish.
Decipher Llamas
Recieved bananas.

Almond Bee's

The knowledge of which has come to be the times that end with almond bee's with all the glee and hollow tins to throw up high in heaven bins which pile and pile to cause the elves to fellow mourn the passing clouds which storm aloud the tins above to land again in heaven bins.

The list...please add to it, Sam!

1. Think die tentacles
   
2. The shell to me is coming
3. I am a werdo
4. Burn the nettles
5. Scotty trolley (bring out your dead!)
6. My nicka
7. Butlins
8. Wee-wee the Hunter
9. Duffice
10. Cushion cat
11. Billy's sire
12. No Nintendo talk at the table
13. Fungi stool
14. I was thinking about something on the Simpsons
15. The chicken did it
16. I'm not really me
17. Those little girls on the lampshade are blowing kisses at you
18. Remember when we wee'd on the path?
19. Bike pump
20. Onboard the airship...
21. ZZ autoquote
22. One cuts it in half and the other chooses which half they get
23. Crunch alias
24. What's the password? (Happy birthday)
25. Oh look...there's granny, disguised as a lampost
26. Look at that tree (dum dum)
27. Apples on the road
28. The arch over the gate
29. The swing
30. The stream
31. We are sensible
32. Beanstalk (no they don't)
33. Yoggi
34. Playing pool with kitten
35. What's the time three o'clock
36. Silly word games
37. Don't push me, push a push-pop!
38. Polar bears coming down from the north
39. You don't need ketchup if you've got beans
40. I'm aware of my tongue
41. Give this to the old man by the waterfall
42. Up, left, down, left
43. What's wrong with this stupid jump button?
44. Michael, I don't feel very well
45. Señor macintosh
46. Macsoft tape
47. The bush
48. You're disgust me
49. Graphics
50. Shh...the baby's awake!
51. Pig Pong
52. Is my bee heye?
53. What a waste of a baby
54. When you die you'll have 99 coins and you'll wish you'd got that one
55. Is everybody ready? Here we go...Oooohhhh! (Aaargh...ghosts!)

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Added 12th December 2005 after a hurried msn convo with sam

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56. whodyanickabolokov (my aunty Mabel)
57. there's nowhere we can go away from the power (power...power...power)
58. Fuckalickadoodaday
59. Well excuuuuuse me, Princess!
60. Making paths in the nettles
61. Catherine Biryani?
62. Shop
63. B.C. vs the world
64. There's no escape from the legion...or this book!

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Added 12th December 2005 after another msn convo with sam

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65. Someday you will find me...can't believe the last line
66. Rusty bootlace
67. Slap that Bass (Stop the Bus)
    

The Mario 2 Rap

This amazing and cunning rap was written by Mary and Sam in the back of the camper just before mary was sick out of the window. This was, as you may have guessed, the same camper that Sam threw his sock out of. Please note that this rap was written around the time the game came out so we weren't all that old. Please forgive us.

The inspiration for the rap came from the intro story from Mario 2 which was a dream about Mario going through a door etc. Anyway...enjoy
Mario and Luigi were walking down the road
When suddenly they spied their old friend, Toad.
They climbed into his mushroom van
And went to princess Toadstool to work out a plan.

They decided to go on a big picnic,
And Luigi ate so much that he felt sick,
Then they climbed up a staircase and they went through a door
And they weren't at the picnic spot anymore!

Where were they now? Was this a joke?
Then, suddenly, a loud voice spoke;
"The evil Wart has made a plan!
Please help us stop him if you can.
He's planning to destroy Subcon!
We really cannot let this go on!
He's taken away our dream machine,
and with that, he really can be MEAN!!!

Post the toast

Plentiful brooms and collapsing rooms
inside a house made by a mouse
he climbs the walls when rubble falls
to find the keys for upstairs cheese
but in his tracks the rat attacks
and eats his legs while mousey begs
coz nothing stops the ratty chops!

Post the first

Hehe...group blog. Things will soon be getting veeery silly.